Way back when I was still working in London, I wrote about my spontaneous booking of tickets to see the English National Ballet and Flawless at the Hammersmith Apollo.
There wasn’t anyone immediately available who I particularly wanted to join me, so I took myself. It was a Friday night, and my colleagues thought I was crazy and a little tragic. I may even have thought that myself for about five minutes after I left the office.
And then I realised, it wasn’t tragic, it was wonderful. The feeling of independence of doing something typically associated with group or couple outings by myself was incredible. It’s also very freeing not to have any expectations around an event or place – you don’t have to comment on it, or work around anyone else’s plans or needs – you can simply be, and absorb, and enjoy (and eat cake).
And so I’ve carried on having dates with myself when I feel the need to recharge my creative and emotional batteries.
I’ve been to gardens, museums, galleries, parks, coffee shops, restaurants, talks, all sorts. Often I’ll discover it for the first time with someone, and return on my own to appreciate it properly.
It doesn’t have to be a day out, either. Sometimes I’ll go and visit a particular shop I love, or I’ll spend an afternoon scrapbooking, delving into memories.
I might go horse riding, skating or simply sit with a slice of something sweet and watch the world go by.
It’s not always educational and it’s not always obviously connected with anything – but I always, always feel refreshed, motivated and more me when I return. Whether it’s a whole weekend or just half an hour, it helps.
I found Julia Cameron’s “Artist Date” concept via Leonie Dawson this morning, which seems to describe my dates with myself fairly accurately, and as this post was already brewing I thought it was a good sign that I should get on and write it already.
So who’s with me? Julia suggests weekly – I don’t have a schedule, but find I’m drawn to doing things alone whenever I need to recharge, which could be at any interval from a couple of days to a few months.
Whether you’re single or partnered up, a parent or child-free, see if you can find time this week to try it. There are some great suggestions at The Artist’s Way but feel free to choose anything at all to do – something you are drawn to.
The only rule is that you do it solo.
And then let me know how you got on!
If you haven’t already done so, you should go on holiday by yourself. Best. Thing. Ever!
It’s on my 30 for 30 list – I think it’s a brilliant idea!
I agree, I’ve been away quite a few times by myself, including 6 months travelling in Australia and New Zealand 🙂
If you haven’t already done so, you should go on holiday by yourself. Best. Thing. Ever!
It’s on my 30 for 30 list – I think it’s a brilliant idea!
I agree, I’ve been away quite a few times by myself, including 6 months travelling in Australia and New Zealand 🙂
Yes! I’m exactly the same! I need to do this at least once a week, preferably at least every other day though. It makes all the difference as a treat to yourself, although I find that the most important thing is to really salute the time you do have to yourself when you go out and take a moment to savour it – that way, it really clicks at a soulful level too, which creates a bigger shift I’ve found.
Good advice – I’m trying to pay attention to it rather than just doing it automatically these days. But there’s a marked change in my mood and attitude if I don’t get the solitude I crave!
I don’t do enough of this – but totally agree, it’s lovely to go on an adventure somewhere by yourself, somewhere that you really want to go and enjoy.
Ohhh your six months away sound splendiferous 🙂
Yes! I’m exactly the same! I need to do this at least once a week, preferably at least every other day though. It makes all the difference as a treat to yourself, although I find that the most important thing is to really salute the time you do have to yourself when you go out and take a moment to savour it – that way, it really clicks at a soulful level too, which creates a bigger shift I’ve found.
Good advice – I’m trying to pay attention to it rather than just doing it automatically these days. But there’s a marked change in my mood and attitude if I don’t get the solitude I crave!
I don’t do enough of this – but totally agree, it’s lovely to go on an adventure somewhere by yourself, somewhere that you really want to go and enjoy.
Ohhh your six months away sound splendiferous 🙂
Hi. Great post! I do this for myself all the time. I just love the thrill of asking myself “what would give me the most happiness today?” and then going and doing it. From a coffee in a favourite cafe reading the entire paper, to going to the movies or taking a holiday (Samoa – I’m heading your way soon and I can’t wait to see you!) its all wonderful.
Yay, another likeminded soul! I think it’s a wonderful habit to have and develop, and I shall be investigating solo holidays too…
Just been nosing round your website, it’s fabulous! Bookmarked 😉 x
Hi. Great post! I do this for myself all the time. I just love the thrill of asking myself “what would give me the most happiness today?” and then going and doing it. From a coffee in a favourite cafe reading the entire paper, to going to the movies or taking a holiday (Samoa – I’m heading your way soon and I can’t wait to see you!) its all wonderful.
Yay, another likeminded soul! I think it’s a wonderful habit to have and develop, and I shall be investigating solo holidays too…
Just been nosing round your website, it’s fabulous! Bookmarked 😉 x