Yesterday I did something I have been putting off for almost two years.
I’ve written it on endless lists, talked about it to friends, got opinions from people in the know, and worried about it every single time I’ve driven since I decided it would be a good idea to fix.
And yet it was only yesterday that I eventually managed to take Poppy down to Maldon and get her four new tyres.
Yeah. TWO YEARS.
Now while my old tyres weren’t (quite) illegal, neither were they performing brilliantly in the soggy weather we’ve had recently. Consequently I’ve been worrying about longer trips, and freaking out as soon as I realise it’s raining or icy outside, for the past two years. Not to mention driving people mad with the response “I’d love to, but let me check my tyre treads first…”
And yet it took me a five minute phone call to check the tyres were in stock, a twenty minute drive to a place I trust, 90 mins for them to strip, refit, fit my new alloys and redo the alignment on all four wheels, and a twenty minute drive home (with a two hour pitstop at my Gran’s for tea and biscuits). Less than a morning’s worth of work – and the moment I started her engine to leave the tyre fitter’s, I felt a huge weight literally float up off my shoulders.
So why did I put it off so long? I think it felt scary and expensive, and I think some fear got in there as well – what if I don’t know what to reply when they ask for sizes / what if I order the wrong ones / what if, what if, what if. All while also worrying constantly and subconsciously I was going to lose my licence for having sub-standard grip on my tyres if the police pulled me over. (turns out they were still legal, but close to the limit – so all my worrying was quite literally for no reason.)
And yet to beat that epic round of procrastination, all it took in the end was a reminder from my friend Nic, a phone call, and a few hours on a Saturday morning, and now I can relax and enjoy driving my car again. I feel good, and also slightly sheepish.
A lesson I’m hoping to take into other parts of my life – I can think of another few things that get nudged from one list to another endlessly, and build up to be something more than they are – when they’d probably only actually take a little while to remove from my job list entirely.
What do you needlessly procrastinate about? (Go on, share your stories and make me feel better…!)
With love and unicorns,
PS The garage I used was George Tyres in Maldon – highly recommended (and sensibly priced, as well as very reassuring), if you’re in the area 🙂
Burlesque (well, a Ducking Fabulous stall while wearing my burlesque gear, to support the girls who were performing at the venue), zooming around in Poppy with the roof down, puppies, lunch with a dear friend and lots and lots of SUNSHINE… it’s been a thoroughly brilliant weekend.
She generally has a sweeter expression than this – I think she was unimpressed by the camera shoved in her face!
While driving around in Poppy, roof down, singing (badly) to 99 Problems, I realised that even with sunglasses and a convertible, I will never be cool. This is rather a relief.
Talking of roof down, I nearly wet myself laughing when I stopped at traffic lights and a random chav yelled “oi, someone’s nicked yer roof” – I’ve certainly had more original heckles. It amazes me how much attention she seems to get, especially in this part of the country where there are much more expensive, shiny and generally showy cars around. (It’s ok – I still love her best!)
This is serious market research. Does your outfit affect your sales?!
The Pamper Yourself Vintage fair was great fun and I finally got to meet Hattie of Whats your tale, nightingale? which was fabulous. Lovely to catch up with some of the Jems, and Annastasia was an absolute star and helped with my stall as well as dancing 🙂
I’ve done at least half my admin outside, and I even managed to sit and read a book for a bit this morning. Acquired a hammer (Dad will be relieved, he’ll have sole ownership of his again), a blue beach type chair for garden relaxing, a photo tent, another copy of the Free Range Humans book and a copy of my door key so that friends don’t have to leave when I do if they stay during the week. Excellent.
I even managed to make a summery casserole (oxymoron, no?!) in the slow cooker – so my only fail of the weekend would be choosing and writing cards for two of my favourite people in the world, whose birthdays fell on Friday and today… and then in the madness of stallholding, forgetting to take them with me to post. Silly girl… so if either of you are reading (I suspect you’re not, lol) – they’re going in the post tomorrow, I promise!
And on that note, having filled the blank page (and many others) in the fading sun with notes for Ink Drops, the Ducking Fabulous shop and my two super secret projects, I am off to bed with a book.
I hope you all also had thoroughly fabulous weekends!
I feel very strongly that this is a new phase in my life. The opportunity to work so close to home is one that I think I only truly appreciate having battled almost two years of four-hours-a-day commuting. It signifies a change in pace, and a change in attitude. To make the jump to leaving London, there is a whole mindset change. Money becomes less important, and time, though still precious, is more plentiful.
There will be more time to spend with my family, the people and also the animals that are so dear to me, and who helped me so much through the darkest times of my life, and who share these happy ones so wholeheartedly.
Time to take Bluebell for long cycle rides, Poppy for long drives, to ride Jack and Chess (maybe not simultaneously) through the fields, to photograph and record the things I didn’t even have time to see before.
Long afternoons to spend with friends, chatting, talking, just being. Time to dream and plan for a nomadic future – narrowboats and caravans, visiting friends, a gentler pace of life.
While still running my businesses and creating my portfolio life, I also want to find time to learn – through the university, evening dance classes, finally getting going on my Universal Class courses, through Free Range Humans and Escape the City (just because I’ve escaped, doesn’t mean I can’t still spend time with fabulous like minded people)…
All these things I have missed for the past five years. All these things I am so much looking forward to – and all these things and more I will be thankful for. I’ll still be busy but I am absolutely determined to make more of everyday life now I have taken the leap. I don’t want to just live for the weekends – I want every day to be worth something.
I don’t regret my time in London, I’ve met some wonderful people (you really do find absolute gems in the most unexpected places) and I’ve learned a lot, much of it also unexpected. But the time is right to move on, and I am focused on the future. I don’t think I’ll ever return to work in the City – but I will take many memories of it with me.