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Discovering you can be excited for Monday morning…

As a completely fabulous, proper weekend draws to a close, I’m once again pensive. In a good way. For the first time in I genuinely can’t remember how long, I am excited for Monday. The first week of the new job mostly involved meeting people, familiarising myself with the uni’s website and eating cake. But I am looking forward to being there, to the challenge of the first tasks I have, of getting to know my (perfectly lovely!) new colleagues, of discovering the campus and the surrounding areas, of spending the evenings of this week eating good food and making stock for fairs and the fabulous Tea & Sympathy boutique.

This weekend has comprised seeing the Ruby Slippers at the V&A, eating a ridiculous amount of food, catching up with fabulous friends, catching up with fabulous family and walking around in a state of wonder that I can be this happy in normal, everyday life. Read on for more…

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Time, and a new way of life

I feel very strongly that this is a new phase in my life. The opportunity to work so close to home is one that I think I only truly appreciate having battled almost two years of four-hours-a-day commuting. It signifies a change in pace, and a change in attitude. To make the jump to leaving London, there is a whole mindset change. Money becomes less important, and time, though still precious, is more plentiful.

There will be more time to spend with my family, the people and also the animals that are so dear to me, and who helped me so much through the darkest times of my life, and who share these happy ones so wholeheartedly.

Time to take Bluebell for long cycle rides, Poppy for long drives, to ride Jack and Chess (maybe not simultaneously) through the fields, to photograph and record the things I didn’t even have time to see before.

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Long afternoons to spend with friends, chatting, talking, just being. Time to dream and plan for a nomadic future – narrowboats and caravans, visiting friends, a gentler pace of life.

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While still running my businesses and creating my portfolio life, I also want to find time to learn – through the university, evening dance classes, finally getting going on my Universal Class courses, through Free Range Humans and Escape the City (just because I’ve escaped, doesn’t mean I can’t still spend time with fabulous like minded people)…

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All these things I have missed for the past five years. All these things I am so much looking forward to – and all these things and more I will be thankful for. I’ll still be busy but I am absolutely determined to make more of everyday life now I have taken the leap. I don’t want to just live for the weekends – I want every day to be worth something.

I don’t regret my time in London, I’ve met some wonderful people (you really do find absolute gems in the most unexpected places) and I’ve learned a lot, much of it also unexpected. But the time is right to move on, and I am focused on the future. I don’t think I’ll ever return to work in the City – but I will take many memories of it with me.

Whirlwinds of change…

So as some of you will know, I finally quit my City job last week and will be starting (work!) at the University of Essex in November.  This was a fairly emotional decision as while I have been immensly frustrated, tired and cross for much of my time here, I work with a great bunch of people and it will be sad to leave. 

 

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I am incredibly excited about the new position, and the joy of knowing I will no longer be commuting on the train, and instead riding my bike for 40 minutes each way, is fabulous… but after a frankly eye-opening conversation with HR about just how much will be deducted from my final month’s pay, it would appear I’m going to have to be very thrifty for a month or two until I’m settled into the new job and money has resumed making its way into my bank account!

I will of course still be doing the things I love, but will be keeping an eye on those pennies until after Christmas. I will (sadly) be taking a break from my burlesque class until January, but I will continue to practise the routines I’ve learned, and until my train ticket runs out, will pop over and see the girls before class every Wednesday anyway.
They are some of my favourite people in the ENTIRE WORLD and I have no clue what I did before I met them! (not all of them in pic below, but I’ll have some after Saturday! That’s me in the polka dots and cherry buckled corset.)

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My blogging should step up a notch, and I might even get time to do the long-awaited overhaul of DF. Between now and starting the new job, there’s the official launch of Inkdrops, my first ever burlesque performance, a huge powerpoint project and some serious work to be done with Escape the City and Free Range Humans. Excellent.
Here’s to a new life – and managing to stay in touch with the fabulous people I am leaving behind in the City!

 

All photos link back to their original page if not my own.

Really speedy update – 100 days challenge

Somewhere in the last mad couple of weeks, the 100 days challenge officially ended.

The end result? A slightly healthier bank balance, a lot less random tat in my house, a more focused me and and a better thought process when impulse shopping. And shopping generally.

I did slip up a little – a gorgeous grey dress (categorised as ‘work clothes’ to make it ok), stage makeup and the odd magazine did slip through the net. But considering the madness of the three months I’ve been doing it, I think I did pretty well. And I will certainly be making more informed, less impulsive decisions to do with money in the future.

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I have been absent from the internet for a few days, and have been ill on and off for about three weeks now – I am finally feeling more myself and so normal Ducking Fabulous service should resume. You never know, I might even photograph stock and update my shop!

Emotions and Essential Oils

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I had a very fraught week last week. Having tried various things to soothe my anxiety, I found myself longing for the calming and energising fragrance combinations of my university days. I am still sorting out my studio and have no clue where I’ve put my existing collection of essential oils, so I nipped to the shops on my way home after working late on Friday night.

(I have to say that London is good for things like that – finishing work at half six and getting to the shops for 7 and still being able to browse because they’re open till 9… it’s one of London’s main redeeming features, in my eyes.)

So after much mooching, sampling and breathing, I took home these beauties (descriptions from here for ease of posting, although they tally with the little I already knew)

Rosemary ~ Strengthening; good for nervous exhaustion, overwork, strain, mental fatigue, and other stress-related disorders, loss of memory; provides energy, creativity, clarity, concentration

Grapefruit ~ Liberating; good for self doubt, depression, nervous exhaustion, mental stimulation

Orange ~ Invigorating; calming; good for depression, nervous tension and other stress-related disorders, self-consciousness, withdrawal, worry

Bergamot ~ Encouraging; good for anxiety, depression, emotional imbalance, despondency, concentration, motivation

The descriptions of what they treat is like a word for word description of me in the past few weeks. Not good at all.

In the absence of my oil burner, I’ve had a pan of water simmering for most of the time I’ve been in the house this weekend, adding drops when I need to. I am calmer, stronger, newly aware of my path and what I need to do to get there. That awful clutching anxiety in the pit of my stomach that makes me restless and unable to settle and inexplicably tearful has vanished.This is as much due to spending time with dear friends and family who talk sense and let me talk out my worries as to the oils, but they help immensely when I’m alone. And it doesn’t hurt that they also make my flat smell lovely.

A few drops of orange in the shower, and a few of rosemary on my pillow tonight to imbue me with strength for the weeks ahead… it may be a little hippie, a little pagan, a little frightening for those souls who don’t know me well, don’t read my blog and don’t believe in “new age stuff”.

But for me, they work wonders.

Do you use fragrance, essential oils or other things to calm and centre you when life gets all too much?

This week’s happy things

Bit of a mish mash, wordy, linky post, as I’m having one of the busiest weeks ever and am running around like an entire flock of headless chickens. And then some. So here goes, stuff that has made me happy this week…

–        Discovering all over again that I actually have the best friends a girl could ever possibly wish for. I am very, very lucky.

–        Fluffy white bread for the first time in ages and Ben’s cookies from a colleague at work

–        Emily coming round and cooking for me – this was the most luxurious thing ever, quite aside from the loveliness of seeing her

–        Exciting snippets of other people’s news – new chapters all over the shop

–        That feeling you get when opening a brand new document in InDesign and knowing you can create almost anything you want

–        Planning outfits, shoes and accessories for the boudoir shoot next weekend

–        Discovering a Bauhaus exhibition, which we hope to go to tomorrow, to assist the lovely Lou with her research for an application she’s doing

–        Business course with Startup Saturday tomorrow, WordPress course on Wednesday for work and plans for my future

–        Making lists and feeling a bit more in control of my workload, finances and life

–        Plans for blogger meetups with Annastasia, a PPU store (more of that later) and expansion of Ducking Fabulous (more of that later too), among other things

–        Unexpected commissions – and selling a necklace to my director, which was a very weird but very nice feeling! Unfortunately I neglected to photograph it, but will recreate it for the shop soon 🙂

–        Val telling me that she saw an advert for a burlesque show and immediately thought of me, “just like when I see horses and ducks”. It’s becoming a part of me in a way I never expected, but I love it!

–        Reading proper chick lit again – I’ve read nothing but non fiction for a couple of months and it was very good to lose myself in a couple of Fiona Gibsons novels (go and read them if you haven’t already, they’re funny, poignant and I identify with the characters so much – even the ones I’m not yet!)

–        Planning the 100 day challenge, or a version of it, to get a bit of stability back into my finances (thanks to Sophia at Tattooed Tealady for the inspiration)

–        Boutique Baking and Jamie’s Great Britain– I am so looking forward to choosing things to make and bake from these books

–        Deciding, after last Sunday’s #bbloggers chat, that my blog is a place for me to indulge my many passions and hobbies and loves – it might get more readers if it was more focused, but I prefer it to be a true reflection of my character and personality – chaotic but lovely!

Tomorrow I’m with Lou in London, planning for the future, and Sunday hopefully collecting my new bike (squeee) so more posts to come!

This weekend I have mostly been… (post contains ballet, cake and sewing… so a pretty damn good weekend!)

Rediscovering my pointe shoes…

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Makeup trial for the wedding (done by me) – this is look one, neutral eyes with sheer-ish red lips. Shocking phone photo and my glasses obscure my eyelids, I know. More of these to come before the actual wedding. Skin’s looking clearer though – Nars illuminator is magical stuff!

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Challenging myself to sew something for the Popular Crafts Union Jack swap… here’s my finished needle book 🙂 Will be posted with a treat and a cross stitched card!

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Munching the cake I bought for a friend’s BBQ that was abandoned due to rain. I suspect the diet will be back on when I’m back at work, I’m maintaining weight but there’s so much yummy food involved in this week… lol! These cakes, stocked in our local Wyevale (Colchester Stanway and Braintree) are my favourite fallbacks if I don’t have time to bake, they taste homemade!

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Sorting bookshelves and installing a ballet barre *cough perfect height clothes rail cough* in my living room – if I’m going to be ready for this burlesque cabaret in October, I need to strengthen my long-neglected dance muscles and improve my flexibility. Removing my glove with my foot is, as expected, somewhat trickier than it looks on stage! My intention is to try to do 10-15 mins of stretches and barre work each day even if I manage no other exercise. Combined with burlesque each week and hopefully cycling when my bike eventually arrives, plus skating which I do whenever I can but usually once a week, I should be trimmer, fitter and more flexible in no time. Yeah. I live in hope. But I’ll at least enjoy myself in the process!

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Also managed to paint my toenails (my feet are not fit for photographing so here are the colours I used) and ogling the Pashley Poppy on the front of this month’s Homes and Antiques. Cannot WAIT for mine (it’s the blue, rather than the pink, version) to arrive – hopefully in a little over a month. Squee!

 

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Footnote: I’m aware that wearing pointe shoes while not a trained dancer can damage your feet; I’m also aware mine should have ribbons attached for support. They’re mostly decorative and I intend to wear them for a photoshoot. I doubt I will ever again dance that level of ballet!

It’s not just me! Fitting a blog and business into real life…

Flicking through my emails and Google reader feeds this morning, one quote stood out to me –

“As many of you who have your own baby blog will know, there are days when on top of your day job, your family, your social life, paying the bills and dealing with life’s other unexpected twists and turns, keeping up your true passion seems all a little bit overwhelming and a tad tricky.”

(http://normalityandme.com/2012/05/29/ifabbo-uk-conference-2012-inspiration-breeds-inspiration/)

I work full time in London, I spend 3-4 hours a day commuting and I also run a business, two blogs and have numerous interests I pursue while also trying to keep up with a wonderful but sometimes overwhelming network of friends & family. While it’s all my choice and I wouldn’t have it any other way, it does occasionally all get on top of me and I wonder what the hell I’m doing. However, every time I’ve tried to drop something I do regularly out of my schedule, I’ve just found myself miserable without it. I’m not designed for sitting around doing nothing – I need to be doing, planning, achieving, socialising, building – but it’s unutterably lovely to see, written down in black and white, that I’m not alone in sometimes feeling a bit “eek!” about it.

Despite the occasional terrified feeling, I do feel like I’m making some progress  – I  am in the process of booking my attendance at some fairs later this year, have plans in place for expansion of my range and am booked onto the Cybher bloggers’ conference next year. I regard this blog as its own entity, not simply a way of promoting my shop (though it does that too sometimes!) and I often look back at my pre-blogging days and wonder what I did with my time. And what moments I’ve missed recording!

Hope you all have a fabulous Wednesday – I’m off to burlesque class tonight, and will be working extra hard as I missed last week. We’re learning to take our gloves off with our feet…

 

On Being Organised

Well, I have discovered something – blogging really can change your life! Even if it’s only in small ways… I drafted a post on the train home tonight about how I was going to be more organised now that I have full permission from the day job to relaunch Ducking Fabulous (excuse me… SQUEEEEEEEEEE!); and with the oft-lamented 2 hours each way commute, I thought it was high time I got my life in order. I have approximately two weeks to do this, before my labels arrive and I can open my shop in earnest.

So I arrived home after a bizarrely productive day at work, dropped a necklace back to my neighbour, chatted to her housemate for a while, came upstairs, made dinner, ate dinner, read for a bit… and then suddenly had a fit of usefulness which surprised even me! So now my labels are ordered, my filing is in a box on top of the filing cabinet, my accounts are done, my computer is set up in the living room rather than on my bed, the bathroom is cleaner than it was and I’m about to hang out the last load of washing. And I’ve replied to some emails which I have been meaning to reply to for at least a month.

I know, right… what happened?! I’m not sure either… but I’m going with the flow, and will re-draft the post to take account of the fact that I actually did housework of my own accord 😮

I’ve also been asked to share some photos of my flat so I’ll do that when I’ve had some decent light to photograph it in, and having had a glorious weekend full of kittens and cooking (but not cooking the kittens), I have those pics to share too 🙂

For now – it’s gone half 11 so I must be heading bedwards. Goodnight, lovelies!

Things that make me happy Thursday – overdue edition!

Ooops, I don’t appear to have done one of these since before Christmas! So, the run up to 2012 and the first couple of weeks of it… They have made me smile muchly…

Catching up with family over the festive break
Having a festive break – in my adult life I’ve never had more than four or five days off in a row due to work, and this year I had ten!
Getting unexpected Christmas presents
Celebrating New Year for the first time in a long time
Experimental cocktails with Rob’s new blender (notes: lime is good in SMALL quantities. Do not always follow the recipes to the letter. It is perfectly acceptable to mix two litres of lychee daiquiri, take it to a party and drink it all yourselves.)
Cooking from a Jamie cookbook. Several times. And succeeding!
Starting 2012 how I’d to continue it
Swapping socks with Holly
Seeing Anna on new years day 🙂
Enjoying the commute with my new toy
Dan not recognising me from behind because my hair’s so long
Amanda’s zombie app comment
Wearing floral trainers
Two of the girls who keep me sane at work going permanent
A label on a pack of ibuprofen tablets instructing me to remove all packaging before microwaving. Sure.
Catching up with Val via email
Making my resolutions/hopes/thoughts/dreams list for the year ahead

From the sublime to the mundane to the ridiculous and back again!

Hello 2012 – we’re going to get on famously

This will have to be quick, because I should have been in bed half an hour ago… oh, how I have really not missed the 5.30am starts at all over the break!!

I’m starting 2012 in an incredibly happy, uplifted and motivated frame of mind. I am surrounded by people I love who love me, I have my little haven of a flat and my much adored Poppy-car, changes at work in the last couple of months of 2011 mean I’m much happier there than I thought possible to begin with, and I’m ridiculously lucky that my main stresses are usually that I have too many people and fun things to fit into my social life. Terrible, isn’t it?!

But genuinely, I’m very lucky and well aware of this fact. I’m also intending and hoping for 2012 to be my best year yet… full of all the things I love to do, all the people I love to see and empty (or emptier, at least) of things that make me sad and stressed out. I’m not completely in la la land, I know that various things will be impossible and hard and tearful through the year, but right now things are rosy and I intend to make the absolute most of that.

Things I am muchly looking forward to this year:

Julia’s wedding ~ this is the big one, my best friend and twin soul is getting married on 7th July and I CANNOT WAIT! I’m honoured to have been chosen as one of her bridesmaids and I’ll do everything I can to make sure her big day is perfect.

USA road trip ~ a road trip round the southern states with my parents that we have been talking about doing for close to ten years, we’re flying out to Texas on 9th February and I’m so excited I can barely breathe!

CAE 2012 ~ Camping Auto Extravaganza with the ROC boys and girls is always a highlight of the calendar – this will be my third one, and each one makes me marvel that a bunch of people who only met each other because of their cars can be such very good friends and have such an awesome time.

Neverwhere ~ one of my favourite books by the awesome Neil Gaiman, and my best friend Lou of Contrariety Rose has been working on the costumes for the play for months and months. I’m off to see it on 20th January and am very excited!

Goodwood Revival ~ another one of those things I’ve been threatening to do for ages, Lou & Paul said they’d like to go and much to my surprise so did Rob when I mentioned it the other day… and dressed vintage too! So I’m hoping we’ll get to do that in September… fingers crossed!

My 26th birthday ~ not a traditional landmark I know, but I feel like I’m hitting my prime, and will be taken more seriously once I’m in my late twenties, and I’m hoping to celebrate with lots of friends and lots of family.

Unofficial Ireland rally with Rat Patrol, Team Allegro and Bucket of Doom ~ Assuming we actually manage to get this organised, I would completely adore to see the others again. I am perfectly prepared to abandon the idea of a banger and just go in Poppy if that’s the only way I can afford to go (as the £250 banger car spending limit would probably pay for most of my petrol and camping costs, lol). I’ve missed those guys!

And last but not least, launching Teasets to Typewriters, rejuvenating Ducking Fabulous jewellery as part of that and hopefully becoming involved with a new website, What Simon Said, with a friend I met on the rally and have kept in touch with via Twitter. I have many, many goals this year… some of them are listed on the 2012 Things page of this site, which can be found on the tabs at the top.

So, enough photo-free waffling from me – it’s been wonderful blogging and tweeting and ‘meeting’ people (I’m mostly looking at you, @craftyguider,@fairlyairyfairy@meanyjar, @CraftyThINKer, @MissJimJams, @ShhimUK, @LucyMoose ) in 2011, and I hope the friendship and support continues into 2012 and beyond! Happy 2012… enjoy it!

xx

Hey… it’s nearly Christmas!

Quite how it’s got to be 13 December without my noticing and making a massive song and dance about Christmas, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s the weather. Yep, we’ll blame the unseasonal lack of snow, ice and general cold misery that usually characterises December in England.

However, it does mean it’s almost Christmas. Now I am usually a Christmas fanatic – I love it! I love the build up, the songs, the decorations, the food, the preparation, the licence to wear glitter during the day, the ridiculous novelty earrings – the lot!

This year, a lot of this seems to have passed me by – I’ve been so busy with all the things I do that I’d barely noticed it was December! I have managed to put up my wreath, thought I’ve not yet had time to make another one and post a tutorial; I have decorated my little Christmas tree but haven’t put many of the rest of my decorations up yet; and I’ve been to two Christmas dinners and one Christmas party. So I’m not doing too badly, but I need to up my dose of the Christmas spirit!

So, some things (not all Christmas related!) to do before the 25th:

Put up the rest of my decorations ~ Decide what to wear ~ Buy token gifts ~ Send out email greetings ~ Make donation to Macmillan (in lieu of presents and cards this year, as we lost my godfather to cancer in July) ~ Go to a carol service ~ Go on the charity SantaLash pub crawl round London ~ organise Julia’s hen weekend ~ research sewing machines ~ research tablets and contracts ~ make some more Christmas jewellery/jewellery to wear at Christmas ~ go skating on one of London’s many outdoor rinks.

Then a few days of peace, and then it’s New Year!

I’m heading up to Nottingham for New Year, which I’m really excited about, especially as I haven’t celebrated it for about three years now. While the rest of the world (or so it seems) parties, I usually curl up with a blanket, wine, a really good book and a large tub of Haagen Dazs. Not bad, but I can’t wait for this one! I  will be taking a notebook on the train (I’d prefer to drive but it depends on the weather) to make resolutions and plans for 2012. I’m hoping we’ll get a chance to see some fireworks – I ADORE fireworks even when it’s freezing cold outside!

What are your plans for Christmas? New Year’s Eve? New Year’s Day? I hope that whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re with and however you celebrate, you have a glorious few days 🙂

All images link back to their original source.