Last year, I created this in response to Steak & BJ day. And then didn’t publicise it. This year – I am going to make it an ACTUAL DAY. (and probably turn it into an actual website at some stage, too).
So off you go – you have just under a month to find a unicorn and buy it for a girl.
Ah, Monday. In the working world, it gets such a bad rap for being the start of the working week, that I thought I’d share some ways to make it better.
1. If you’re able to work flexi-time, go in later or finish earlier on Mondays. I changed my hours so I have Monday afternoons off and work longer days Tuesday to Friday and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Blogging from the garden on a Monday afternoon in June.
2. Arrange regular Monday treats with colleagues or other self-employed people. A few of us at my day job meet regularly on Mondays for anything from full blown afternoon tea to a quick cuppa between meetings, and knowing I’m going to see these lovely sparkly ladies makes my whole week better!
3. Make Monday evening a night for dates or catch ups – so you can either spend quality time with your significant other, or catch up with friends (in person is brilliant, over Skype is perfectly acceptable – Contrariety Rose’s Louise and I often have wine nights over Skype!). The day goes faster if you’re looking forward to something in the evening, and you can plan your outfit in those really boring meetings.
4. Trying to escape the day job? Make Monday your Great Escape Plan day – commit to spending an amount of time each Monday working on the broader plan or picture. If you’ve not started something on the side yet, use the time for planning, self-development or training, and taking concrete baby steps towards your vision. If you have already started, promise yourself you’ll use that time solely for planning your next moves, not for doing client work or admin.
Four quick ways to turn Monday from blah to woohoo!
What’s your favourite? Do you have any other tips for making the start of the week better?
Way back when I was still working in London, I wrote about my spontaneous booking of tickets to see the English National Ballet and Flawless at the Hammersmith Apollo.
There wasn’t anyone immediately available who I particularly wanted to join me, so I took myself. It was a Friday night, and my colleagues thought I was crazy and a little tragic. I may even have thought that myself for about five minutes after I left the office.
And then I realised, it wasn’t tragic, it was wonderful. The feeling of independence of doing something typically associated with group or couple outings by myself was incredible. It’s also very freeing not to have any expectations around an event or place – you don’t have to comment on it, or work around anyone else’s plans or needs – you can simply be, and absorb, and enjoy (and eat cake).
And so I’ve carried on having dates with myself when I feel the need to recharge my creative and emotional batteries.
I’ve been to gardens, museums, galleries, parks, coffee shops, restaurants, talks, all sorts. Often I’ll discover it for the first time with someone, and return on my own to appreciate it properly.
It doesn’t have to be a day out, either. Sometimes I’ll go and visit a particular shop I love, or I’ll spend an afternoon scrapbooking, delving into memories.
I might go horse riding, skating or simply sit with a slice of something sweet and watch the world go by.
It’s not always educational and it’s not always obviously connected with anything – but I always, always feel refreshed, motivated and more me when I return. Whether it’s a whole weekend or just half an hour, it helps.
I found Julia Cameron’s “Artist Date” concept via Leonie Dawson this morning, which seems to describe my dates with myself fairly accurately, and as this post was already brewing I thought it was a good sign that I should get on and write it already.
So who’s with me? Julia suggests weekly – I don’t have a schedule, but find I’m drawn to doing things alone whenever I need to recharge, which could be at any interval from a couple of days to a few months.
Whether you’re single or partnered up, a parent or child-free, see if you can find time this week to try it. There are some great suggestions at The Artist’s Way but feel free to choose anything at all to do – something you are drawn to.
The only rule is that you do it solo.
And then let me know how you got on!
This post first appeared on Ducking Fabulous.
While seeking solace for an unexpected sadness recently, I came across Rebelle Society’s wonderful advice for a broken heart.
My heart is not broken, merely bruised; my pride is dented, but intact. I know this because I know how it feels to have your heart shattered into a million pieces and each individual piece trampled on over a period of time. I remember what it felt like to lose someone I truly loved… and though I am sad, I know this is not that same broken feeling. Though I cared more than a little, it was never meant to be a long term thing.
Reading it, surrounded by the kind words and happy wishes, hilarious observations and unicorn pictures from my beyond amazing friends and family, I began to remember other things, too.
I remember how much I treasure my solitude and my ability to be happy alone.
I remember how lucky I am to have friends and family who see through my insecurities to the beacon of light underneath. They know me even better than I know myself, and they guide me back to myself when I lose my way.
I remember fleeting and enduring passions – for horses, skating, sewing and more.
I remember the feeling of freedom and independence that was hiding under the longing to belong.
I remember that I do belong, many times over, with the people who accept me and love me exactly as I am.
I remember that friendship (with people and with animals) is the most precious thing in the world.
I remember that once, from the depths of darkness, a newer, happier version of me emerged. Though I am nowhere near darkness from this particular episode, I am still excited to leap forward into the next edition of myself.
And along with the remembering, I realised that I have, in the last few years, been building not just a lifestyle but also myself.
Of course I have grieved, I have been sad. But I can feel myself already leaving the disappointment behind and bounding forward into another phase of my life.
What do you remember when you need to reconnect with yourself? What gets you through periods of sadness?
photo credit: Chris Gin via photopin cc | This post first appeared on Letters from my Twenties.
We spend so much time these days doing eight things at once. At my day job today I had 19 tabs open across three different browsers, 17 programs on my start bar, 9 of which were running, plus two productivity timers. I also have two notebooks (one personal, one business), my mobile, my tablet and my desk phone.
My desk at home isn’t much better…
… though muchly improved by the kitten. They’re usually up here when I’m working, one on the desk and one on the floor. But even here, where I choose what I do, I have multiple notebooks, folders, tabs in my browser, scraps of paper with interesting snippets on them, my mobile which is constantly pinging, letters and postcards to reply to.
You know what it’s like – you barely finish reading one article before shifting to the next. Sometimes you’ll click on a tab halfway through the day and realise you only got halfway through that tutorial on how to procrastinate less before *BOOM*, the Shiny Thing Problem resurfaced and you flew off to look at the next exciting thing.
This is partly to do with personality (creatives and entrepreneurs often find it nearly impossible to switch off bits of their brain and focus on one thing at a time), but is also because this is WAY too much information for one human being to process at once.
Among this mass of technology I often try to eat breakfast, do yesterday’s paper filing and talk to my colleagues about reasonably important things that need doing. I am forever making to-do lists which seem to grow rather than shrink as I achieve the items on them.
Enough is enough, and I want to try an experiement. I want to try to do one single thing at a time – eat breakfast, have a conversation, read an article, write a post, finish a list of website edits… without hopping from one thing to another. I’d like to extend this to home and social life as well as my various working lives.
To cook without reading, play with the cats without being on the phone, talk to my friends on the phone without folding the washing (and doing the laundry without tripping over the cat?!).
I tend to subscribe to the view that if you’re busy, you’re getting things done. But my pleasantly busy has rapidly become complete overwhelm, where I have time for neither the things that must be done nor the things I want to do.
My friend Morwhenna says that to achieve more, you need to slow right down. I’ve fairly recently become officially properly single, which gives me incredible freedom to do exactly what I want without having to worry about anyone else. This seems like a good time to start the experiment.
I want to pay attention to everything that I do, whether mundane, necessary or exciting. Be in the moment more, be grateful that I am able to do these things, even if I’m not enjoying them much. Be aware of my senses – the movement, noises, smells and sights.
I’ll try it. I’ll let you know how I get on.
What can you do to slow down?
Most of you will know that I’ve shared my entrepreneurial journey with Louise of Contrariety Rose. While I took a while to find my ‘thing’ (or several things as it turns out), she’s always had a way with fabric and a passion for pin up clothing. So it was only natural that her label should develop in that direction.
Last week we headed up to Olympia to exhibit at London Edge, a trade show for alternative, rockabilly, goth and pin up fashion (which would have been our idea of heaven even if we hadn’t been exhibitors, to be fair).
It was great fun, absolutely knackering and I had surprisingly little time to take photos – but here are a few pics from the week.
Lou with her stand after setup:
Our apartment (SO much nicer than a hotel – doing this again next time I go anywhere) and all three of my drinks on Saturday night – I’m so rock & roll!
Me looking cheesy in front of the stand on the Sunday:
Catching up in the evening with Diablo Rose and Lynsey Le Keux of Le Keux events and cosmetics, and Courtney from Silly Old Sea Dog…
And finally, me with a Balloonicorn (no, I have no idea what one is either), the iPad with a mailing list I set up (I was proud) and Lou and I on the stand complete with vintage hair.
We met some brilliant people among other exhibitors and visitors to the show, felt like Olympia was home for a few days and I learned masses about wholesale too, while reigniting my longing for colour in my hair again.
It was a really good experience as a small business owner myself, to make connections and see how this kind of thing works. Because then if I ever find myself at some kind of web designers’ convention, I can at least pack a pretty dress and a typewriter!
You can find Louise and buy Contrariety Rose’s latest collection and a selection of her previous ones at Contrariety Rose.
Yesterday, I was at an all-day workshop on the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator (MBTI). If you have no idea what this is, here’s a brief overview (courtesy of Wikipedia, of course). Essentially, it allows you to identify your personality and the way you approach the world, prefer to work and take in information by a series of questions and exercises, after which you get four letters which identify your type.
photo credit: c_thylacine via photopin cc
I’m not going to give you a psychology lesson, but in Myers Briggs and Jungian terms, an extravert (the “E” in the four letter type identity) derives energy from others, from being around people, and an introvert (the “I” in the letters) needs time and space away from other people to process the world and their thoughts. However, I had understood the terms previously as they are commonly used (extravert = confident and happy, introvert = shy and terrified), rather than their actual definitions.
A really key underpinning idea is that of preference. So we have an innate preference for a particular side, but can and do work to varying degrees of success in the other side’s mode.
When I first did the test, while trying to leave the London job, I tested as ENFP. Over the past two years, my preferences have shifted as my real self has come out to play, and I now usually test INFP.
I had mixed feelings about this, as I didn’t immediately identify as an introvert. However, the more I’ve learned about it, the more I’ve come to embrace the fact that I’m simply an introvert who really likes people and talking, but needs that time and space away from the world to recharge my batteries.
Some of you will know I’m running four workshops at this year’s Essex Book Festival, on social media and writing in the digital age. (Details here if you want to join us – tickets are selling fast!)
I know what I want to cover in the workshops, but yesterday I’d set aside some time to get the structure in place and make sure I’m not cramming too much into the hour-long sessions, so that my writers actually take in the information and can apply it.
So after getting my big flipchart pad out, I went upstairs to get some coloured pens. I came back and was greeted by this:
Luna was snoozing in the conservatory by the heater, but Clover definitely wanted to help…
I love my kitties, but I’m learning to add extra time onto everything to account for watching, laughing at and cuddling them along the way!
It is a truth universally acknowledged that all discussions, whether personal or professional, online or off, and between two people or a whole roomful, every single one is improved by cake.
photo credit: thepinkpeppercorn via photopin cc
As a friend put it earlier, “the world re-opens tomorrow”.
Though it is of course 5th January today, tomorrow marks the start of the first full week of 2014, and so feels like the proper start of the new year.
I’m heading back to my day job tomorrow after a fortnight off, and delighting in the fact that I don’t dread it. Of course the freedom of the last two weeks is my preference, but I do love what I do at the uni and it’s great to be able to head for bed and know I’ll sleep, and won’t have a lead weight in my stomach for the next fifty-one weeks.
I’ve spent a lot of time this Christmas and New Year with these two on my lap, or curled up next to me as I amble through my work. I’ve done lots of client work and lots on my own sites, including this one, but for the first time in quite some time, it hasn’t felt rushed and overwhelming.
Sleeping in late, staying in my PJs till 2pm, eating when I’m hungry rather than when society dictates I should, and staying up till 2.30am because I’m so absorbed in my work I haven’t noticed the time passing… all these are the hallmarks of the life I have lived for the past fortnight, and the life I ultimately want to live full time.
I achieve more when I can work in my natural rhythm, but like so many of us, I never have enough time away from traditional 9-5 working to get properly into my rhythm, and the kittens think all their Christmases have come at once when I want to play with the laser pointer at 3am!
Tomorrow routine starts again, which is no bad thing for me or for them – they need a better routine before they head off on their first holiday to a cattery at the beginning of February, and I need to see how my new client work fits in around my day job. All, of course, keeping BALANCE at the forefront of every plan and decision I make.
Morwhenna’s ReNEW You course starts tomorrow, and Jessy’s Snap To It photography course on the 11th, both of which I’m signed up to and very excited about.
So refreshed, invigorated, still slightly sniffly but incredibly excited for the year ahead – here’s to 2014!
If you hang out in the same places online that I do, or follow some of the same people, you’ll know that having a word for the year seems to be quite a powerful thing.
But man, is it hard to choose one! I’m over-eloquent at the best of times, and narrowing down all those gorgeous words out there to just one for a whole year seemed like an impossible task.
So I decided on two, with a long list of goals and intentions to accompany them.
How did I choose? Well, I’d had a few lurking in my subconscious for some time, and I let them percolate until I settled on the ones which felt right.
Word number one is BALANCE.
photo credit: fd via photopin cc
For the last few years, my balance has been all over the place. This blog is not somewhere I want to dwell on the London job, but it became my primary focus. Since November 2012 I’ve started three businesses alongside my new (well, a year old now) day job, and I work on them in almost every spare second.
I’ve found my tribe this year, a group of other aspiring and doing entrepreneurs, and they are the most incredible source of support, encouragement and inspiration you could imagine. I’d be lost without them – and I certainly wouldn’t be writing this post.
But one of my great traits is enthusiasm. And I’m so enthusiastic about both my ventures and those of others that I’ve almost forgotten how to relax.
And so in 2014, I want to balance the work I love with some down time too. Time to sit and do nothing but cuddle my kittens, or chat to friends and family. Time to read, walk, go to the spa, and most of all not feel guilty for doing any of these things. After all, while I’m deeply connected to my businesses’ growth and success, I’m building a life, not a business empire!
My second word is ABUNDANCE. I strongly believe this is a mindset, and the more you have, the more you attract.
I also think it’s often misunderstood. By abundance, I don’t only mean money. I want to have enough money to alleviate worries when things break, go wrong or need money throwing at them. But it’s not my primary motivator. Abundance for me is plentiful love, friends and family, joyful movement when I feel I want or need it, generosity of spirit, and a whole host of other things which have no relation to money at all.
For my businesses, I wish for abundance, growth and balance too – balance between them all, success for all of them, but for none of them to become a chore. The Website Beautician is already fulfilling growth and abundance – now I just need to keep an eye on the balance part!
Do you have a word or theme for 2014?
What a year it’s been.
Much like 2014 appears to be doing, 2013 snuck up on me somewhat. The new year is only a couple of hours old, but I wanted to get my review up before my planning posts.
I saw 2013 in at Rob’s with a bunch of new friends, getting rather whimsically tipsy and generally having a wonderful time.
January saw a craft swap with some of my favourite people, lots of snow, a notice to vacate my flat, a ukulele workshop and a visit to London Edge trade show. Who knew that just a year later I’d be helping out Contrariety Rose with her stand there?!
February…
was my birthday month (I celebrated by having dinner with Mum & Gran, and heading to bed with wine and six books. Utter bliss.), and also the month in which I visited Lou’s shop for the first time, had an impromptu school reunion and modelled in a collaborative photoshoot.
March held moving house in the snow, to a little house with a spiral staircase in a riverside village full of mad creative people. I finally got my garden and couldn’t be happier! I spent the very last morning at my old flat creating memories with my best friends, taking burlesque photos for the Paper Dolls. I also had six inches chopped off my hair – eek!
I'm Carla, a quirky thirtysomething with a penchant for unicorns and glitter. I believe in magic and make-believe, and the gorgeous rebellion of making your life absolutely your own. And I'm a proud multipod!
I am a photographer and catalyst for small business owners, and a real life mermaid. I photograph people as they truly are, help women see and step into their brightest and best selves, add a sprinkling of magic to the mundane, and am a happy ambassador for stationery and slow living.
Proud to be both girly and geeky, when I’m not writing, photographing or daydreaming, you can find me dancing burlesque, riding my bicycle Bluebell, growing herbs and collecting typewriters.